Ally Update !!

Wow, so summer's almost over! I hate to say it, but I'm excited for the start of the new school year. I'm a junior baby! This year is going to be SOOOO busy for me, but I'm excited because it'll take my mind of everything that's been going on. My schedule is PACKED, I only hope I have enough time to study. Wow, I sound like a dweeb there.

Anyways, this car thing isn't so great I'm discovering. Know why? Oh yeah, that's right. I bought my first car two weeks before gas prices go INSANELY high ... can I REALLY afford to be spending $3.00 on a gallon of gas ??? NOOOOOO! I filled up in Farmtown at $2.77 today, but it was already up to $2.99 when I left. BOOOOOO! On a better note, I have my license plates now !!! No more Luther Kia bright yellow plastic plates. NOw all I need is a spoiler and my fog lights, and I'll have everything for my car. Having three carseats in my backseat is ruining my social life, by the way. Not only is there no place for anyone else to sit in my car, but what guy wants to date a girl with three car seats? Can anyone say EASY? =P

Speaking of dating .. there's guy drama again. There's Sammy, Tom, Billy, and Markie. Let's start with Sammy. So he's really cool, and has a lot of GREAT qualities. First off, he's a semester away from completing his pre-med schooling, which I think is awesome. He's also really easy to talk to, VERY sweet, and soo handsome. He's crazy and makes me laugh - hard. BUT, he's 27, splits his time between three different homes (one of which happens to be his ex!!), and is just as busy as I am. Oh, and then there's the fact that he's a total horn ball. I mean, TOTAL horn ball. He can't keep his hands to himself - ever!

Then there's Tom. Wow, he irritates me sooo much. I honestly don't even know why I talk to him anymore! Now he's giving me the silent treatment because of my relationship with Billy .. as if it's any of his business to start with !!! I should just put him on ignore and go on with it, because his high and mighty act is really getting old.

Billy .... Billy, Billy, Billy. SO is it obvious that I'm in love with him? Cuz I am. Always have been, probably always will be. Only problem? Oh yes. Billy's not IN love with me. Sure, he enjoys when I go over there and we hang out, and we talk a lot ... but we never DO anything. I mean, cuddling is awesome .. but isn't there more out there for us? On the other hand, I'm really close to him emotionally. He's the one person that always asks about my dad, that listens to me when I need to talk, and who will just sit and be with me when I need someone. I NEED Billy right now more then I want him ... but I still want him, too. The other night he made me laugh so hard. We were kissing, and he pulls back and says ( very seriously, I might add): "Ally, this isn't right. I'm not your once a week booty call. You can't just call me on Sunday night and ask to cuddle .. I need more!" *Rolls eyes* Yeah right, that's all I have to say to that. That was also the same night he made me dig a rock out of his heel. Love really does make you do crazy things I guess! Oh, and he's still SOOOOO fawking handsome. I hate it when he smiles, makes me want him SOOOO much more.

And then there's Markie. Right. I don't even know what's happening with him right now. We talk a lot, on the phone and online. I mean, every night for the past week or so, we've talked for AT LEAST half an hour. I don't know what's going on there, but I'm rather enjoying it. He's always been so much fun to talk to, and he's so silly that he makes me laugh. Takes my mind off of a lot of things. Hearing him complain about his once-a-week class makes me laugh, but don't tell him that. I know it's a long day for him, he doesn't like to sit still. He bought a rotweiller, it's coming from England, and I'm sad. His name is Cadet. I don't want Cadet to be mean to Jackson, or to think he rules it all.... poor Jackson! I told Mark if one thing happens to Jackson, I'm taking him away for safe keeping!!

OHHH and I forgot the best guy story yet!! Sooo I can FINALLY sign into my ORIGINAL screen name ( Loma3397 ), which I haven't been able to do in YEARS! And guess what? DWADLES IMed me!! I hadn't talked to him in a year, and we started talking again. Anyways, I went over and watching Se7en with him the other night. It was GREAT to see him again!

Even with all the guy drama in my life right now, I'm happy being single. I don't know what I would do with a boyfriend right now. I don't feel like I have the time I need to devote to a guy right now; I'd rather be home with Daddy.

Speaking of Daddy ...
He dropped some sad news the other day. Out of the blue one morning, he hands me a note. The note says he no longer wants to be known as Bob, because he's worried that the kids (mainly Catherine and Mary), will be confused when he dies. I almost started crying, right then and there. It's too hard to think of him as anything else BUT my Bob. He's been my Bob for 5 years now! He's very serious about it, too. Whenever I accidentaly call him Bob, he says "Bob has ridden off into the sunset." =( I'm very sad ... as is Amy Jo!

We got the results of his latest ultrasound today: seems the cancer has spread to his liver. What more can happen to him? I feel so bad, he's in so much pain all the time. He feels worthless, because he really can't do ANYTHING. He watches tv, and he eats, and he does his email ... and that's really it. There's nothing else he can do! This makes him VERY crabby, which makes it hard to be around him, which makes me sad. It's a vicous cycle. As sad as it will be, and as hard, I hope that this doesn't continue much longer for HIS sake, because this just isn't right. He never did anything to deserve this, and I don't understand why he's being punished this way.

Things like this really make you think. It's puzzling to me that more people are stepping up to help him out. After all he's done for everyone in the neighborhood, the only neighbors that do anything for him are the one's that moved in AFTER he got sick. THey never knew the real Bob, and yet the are constantly helping him out. Explain that one to me? Deb, up the street from us, who used to call Dad AT LEAST twice a week for help with jobs around the house, hasn't even called to see how he is. She just plain doesn't care. Then again, she's always been a self-centered bitch as far as I'm concerned. Then there's all the people that are always saying hey, if you need something, call me .... and then when we need something, they can't help at all! I don't get it. Don't offer to help if you aren't going to!

This has been so hard on Mom lately, too. With everything that's going on, she's still got 9000000 other things to deal with, starting with work and continuing on down to the family. It's amazing to me how blind some of the people in my family are. The one's who do the least seem to think they are the most important. It's annoying. And there are certain family memebers I could do without. Ok, there's a lot of family members I could do without. I just think that a lot of people are being very very selfish right now, and I don't like it. If you don't want to help, that's ok, I'm not saying that everyone needs to. BUT, don't make more work for Mom. Don't create problems where there weren't any before. Learn how to deal with small *emergencies* on your own. Everyone's grown up now; I know that because I am the baby!

Once school starts, I'm going to have less time to help, and that sucks. I feel bad that I'm working so much, but now I don't have a choice because I have a car payment to make. I wish Dad wasn't so against Hospice care, but I understand him not wanting it. To him, it's like signing a contract with death, and I get that. I just know that it would be sooo much easier on Mom if she had someone she could count on to be there every other day or so. The best would be if someone could be here on the day that oxygen man comes. He's a real asshole. I'm sick of hearing him bitch about how much he pays for his wife's cigarettes now with the new health tax. Does he not realize that my Dad is DYING from SMOKING ????? DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Everyone's back at school now, or packing to go back to school ... but me. I'm very bummed not to be living on campus this year. I feel like I'm going to be so out of things. The funny thing is, when I was on campus, I was always finding ways to get off campus!! I partied off campus, slept off campus, even studied for finals off campus. I guess I just never really know what I want. And I am glad to be staying at home with Daddy. It'll make things easier on me to be here down the road.

I guess that's all for now! Sorry it's so random .. I was just saying everything on my mind! Sorry for not updating in awhile, too .. I've been busy. Now that school's starting, I'll be updating in order to avoid doing my homework. LoL.

I love all of you!!!

<3 Ally